Understanding ourselves and our motivations, is
the key to finding fulfilment in our lives.
Why do you do, what you do?
You do, what you do, because along the way you've had the
opinions, beliefs and values of other people imparted on you.
Your mother, father, brothers, sisters, friends,
colleagues, co-workers; have all had an impact in your life one way or the
other. Absence of any of those listed also has an effect on our lives.
Be that they have brought forward a large impact
or small impact, one or several, positive or negative. Almost everyone who
is in your life has helped you to build your character, beliefs (including
self-belief), opinions and personal values.
Some things you've embraced and others you've rejected. Some
things you did through force, others freely.
When we are in close contact with someone we adopt some of
their values and beliefs. We conform and we adapt to circumstance.
Our first influences are based on our childhood.
The size and status of our family, the opinions of our parents; political,
social, financial, spiritual, educational, mental, physical and emotional
opinions, have had a deep effect on our opinions and views.
As children, we believe our parents are always
right. As we grow older, we may embrace or reject their views and opinions
based on our friends opinions.
At school, At work, At home, At a function or event. We
conform to what we are told we must do, what we should do and have had it
ingrained into us what is right and what is wrong.
In certain circumstances, we readily agree to the
rules, regulations and structures imposed upon us, wearing uniform,
starting work at a certain time of day, laws and by-laws etc. Even without
regulation; we adhere to dress codes, social etiquette and social
However, our responses to these vary; sometimes we
push the boundaries, others we ensure we are 'perfectly' behaved so as to
not attract attention.
Not only is the way we act based on circumstance
and our upbringing, but everything we say and do, is also
based on our experience of life to date. Since birth we have been
subjected to other peoples emotional, mental, spiritual and physical
beliefs, which have literally 'rubbed-off' on us.
If your parents never showed emotion and told you
off for crying; you would fear showing your emotion. If your siblings told
you that you were fat; you'd diet and have a strong urge to look after
your body. If you were bullied at any stage in your life, you may have a
strong urge to keep quiet and stay out of trouble. If your co-workers
laughed at your religion, you'd learn not to mention it.
Our emotional, mental, spiritual
and physical conditioning are the basic instincts which pull us to do or
not to do, to do things in certain ways, and to say what we choose to say.
Not all of these conditionings are showing the true you. They are showing
you, based on your life to date.
We use our sense of what is right to get through our lives
in the best way that we possibly can.
Many people just choose to accept this is who they
are; Shy, Extrovert, Intelligent, Stupid, Beautiful, Ugly, Determined,
Weak, Stubborn, Laid Back etc
Truth is; you do not have to limit your definition of who you are in your
future. Accept who you are now is the sum of your life so far, but accept
too, that you have your life ahead of you, and you can be who you want to
Most of the time we spare little thought to answer the
questions, why do I do that? Often though, we find ourselves in situations
which we don't like and we have no idea how to get through them
But to actually look at your life and ask yourself
carefully adapted questions can give you the understanding. It is only
when we understand, can we fully address making changes within ourselves.
Why DO I avoid 'those' kinds of situations?
Why don't I have the self confidence in that area?
Why do I always take charge?
Why do I hate group situations?
Don't make excuses
It is very easy, once we understand our
'conditioning' to use them as excuses.
For example: I don't like public speaking because
I was embarrassed in a school assembly.
When we make excuses, rather than overcoming the
issue at hand. We are letting ourselves stay a victim of a circumstance
that occurred many years, months or weeks ago.
When we allow ourselves to be the victim, we are
stopping ourselves from experiencing life to the full.
As we grow older, we interact with people whom have had different
upbringings and whom have learnt different values. This then makes us
question ourselves and our motivations. All those things we thought we
normal or right, are becoming increasingly to question. We also find
ourselves questioning others and standing up for what we have been taught.
Once we realise that our motivations have been based on our experiences
of the past, we can actually use them to fuel us into allowing ourselves
to motivate our experiences of the future.
If you are completely comfortable with who you are and what you are
doing, then you are living in peaceful state.
Any sense of discomfort or dis-ease in our life points directly to
something which you can make 'comfortable'.
Peace comes from within. From within YOU.
When we know what gives us peace, and what gives us comfort; we can
make the required changes in our life.