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Take Responsibility

In order to gain the most out of life, we should take full responsibility for ourselves and for our actions. In most cases we do; but at other times we find ourselves becoming heavily dependent on both material things and other people.

Being dependent on someone is not wrong, sharing some responsibilities - especially in a relationship is very important. Yet; being fully dependent on someone else when you are fully capable of 'doing things' for yourself is not a fair share.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets annoyed when watching various documentary's on the television; people whom want help, or whom want their situations to change - but are not prepared to do anything pro-active themselves. Instead they are relying on quick fixes, or other people... Sometimes I wonder if they have ever been taught any kind of responsibility. But, the really annoying thing is when other people don't provide them with what they want, they sit there and say "It's not my fault" and "If only I had help".

I suppose the reason that I get so frustrated at these people is because I know that what we take responsibility for ourselves, our life changes for the better. I am aware that my personal frustration for this is my issue. I am also aware that the reason that they are NOT taking responsibility for themselves, is simply because they have never been taught the need to do so.

I believe that I read in a book by Susan Jeffers, of the importance of self responsibility. I recall that she questioned why these skills are not taught in schools. But, at the end of the day - we can't lay all the blame on the schools - we must look at the way WE teach our children these skills - we must take responsibility.

Taking responsibility isn't about making or ordering other people to do things the way we want. It is about acting in ways which show, teach and represent self responsibility. If others choose to follow, then great - it's their choice.

Self Responsible ways

Some examples of responsible behaviour include :-

  • accepting that YOU can make changes to yourself

  • accepting that YOU are not always right

  • accepting that YOU don't know everything

  • accepting that YOU can choose how you feel

  • accepting that YOU can make a difference

  • accepting that YOU can't change how others feel, they have to do this for themselves

  • accepting that YOU won't always get exactly what you want, but that doesn't mean you can't try.

  • accepting that YOU do sometimes need to say sorry

  • accepting that YOU can forgive

  • accepting that YOU can accept whatever you want to

Self Responsible behaviour is NOT limited to the above actions. But being responsible for yourself means that you will spend less time blaming others, less time criticizing, less time gossiping and more time taking a pro-active look at yourself, your life and above all, when you do become responsible for yourself - it really does give you a sense of freedom.

Being responsible to others

When we become self responsible, we are able to treat other people with more respect and understanding. It becomes apparent that we are all unique people, we all have issues, problems, complications.

When we learn to forgive ourselves and accept ourselves, it is so much easier to forgive and accept other people as they are. It helps us to have so much more respect for other peoples feelings, thoughts and opinions.

And being responsible for ourselves, doesn't mean that we take on the burdens of other people. It allows us to listen, advise and respect that other people may or may not do the things they want to do.

In sum; we start allowing other people to become responsible for how they feel. 

The domino effect

What you will notice when you start becoming more responsible for yourself is that other people will start to treat you with a little more respect too.

This is the domino effect of the changes you have made in yourself, and in the way that you treat others.

Being responsible for your feelings, accepting and understanding them helps you to communicate them without anger, shouting, arguments or fear. When you approach any communication from a calm state of mind, other people will generally listen more intently. Words said out of fear or anger never come out the right way, they are rarely considerate of our own feelings, let alone other peoples.

Where to start.

If you want to start taking responsibly for how you feel. It is important that you notice your triggers. Take one step at a time. Although our ultimate goal is to learn to act with integrity every minute of our life.

It may be that you just want to take responsibility for your anger, for your weight, for your addictions, for your emotions....

Wherever you decide to start, remember it takes time to adapt to changes. Remember also, that there are a great many people out there whom haven't been given the choice to make changes. Changes are instead thrown at them by life, circumstance, fate - and they have to find self-responsibility to adapt.

You have the choice, at this time, either to take responsibility for yourself - or to sit back and blame other people for how you feel, what you do and where you are.

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