In order to gain the most out of life, we should take full
responsibility for ourselves and for our actions. In most cases we do; but
at other times we find ourselves becoming heavily dependent on both
material things and other people.
Being dependent on someone is not wrong, sharing some responsibilities
- especially in a relationship is very important. Yet; being fully
dependent on someone else when you are fully capable of 'doing things' for
yourself is not a fair share.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets
annoyed when watching various documentary's on the television; people
whom want help, or whom want their situations to change - but are not
prepared to do anything pro-active themselves. Instead they are relying
on quick fixes, or other people... Sometimes I wonder if they have ever
been taught any kind of responsibility. But, the really annoying thing
is when other people don't provide them with what they want, they sit
there and say "It's not my fault" and "If only I had help".
I suppose the reason that I get so
frustrated at these people is because I know that what we take
responsibility for ourselves, our life changes for the better. I am
aware that my personal frustration for this is my issue. I am also aware
that the reason that they are NOT taking responsibility for themselves,
is simply because they have never been taught the need to do so.
I believe that I read in a book by
Susan Jeffers, of the importance of self responsibility. I recall that
she questioned why these skills are not taught in schools. But, at the
end of the day - we can't lay all the blame on the schools - we must
look at the way WE teach our children these skills - we must take
Taking responsibility isn't about
making or ordering other people to do things the way we want. It is
about acting in ways which show, teach and represent self
responsibility. If others choose to follow, then great - it's their
Self Responsible ways
Some examples of responsible behaviour
accepting that YOU can make changes
accepting that YOU are not always
accepting that YOU don't know
accepting that YOU can choose how you
accepting that YOU can make a
accepting that YOU can't change how
others feel, they have to do this for themselves
accepting that YOU won't always get
exactly what you want, but that doesn't mean you can't try.
accepting that YOU do sometimes need
to say sorry
accepting that YOU can forgive
accepting that YOU can accept
whatever you want to
Self Responsible behaviour is NOT
limited to the above actions. But being responsible for yourself means
that you will spend less time blaming others, less time criticizing,
less time gossiping and more time taking a pro-active look at yourself,
your life and above all, when you do become responsible for yourself -
it really does give you a sense of freedom.
Being responsible to others
When we become self responsible, we are
able to treat other people with more respect and understanding. It
becomes apparent that we are all unique people, we all have issues,
When we learn to forgive ourselves and
accept ourselves, it is so much easier to forgive and accept other
people as they are. It helps us to have so much more respect for other
peoples feelings, thoughts and opinions.
And being responsible for ourselves,
doesn't mean that we take on the burdens of other people. It allows us
to listen, advise and respect that other people may or may not do the
things they want to do.
In sum; we start allowing other people
to become responsible for how they feel.
The domino effect
What you will notice when you start
becoming more responsible for yourself is that other people will start
to treat you with a little more respect too.
This is the domino effect of the
changes you have made in yourself, and in the way that you treat others.
Being responsible for your feelings,
accepting and understanding them helps you to communicate them without
anger, shouting, arguments or fear. When you approach any communication
from a calm state of mind, other people will generally listen more
intently. Words said out of fear or anger never come out the right way,
they are rarely considerate of our own feelings, let alone other
Where to start.
If you want to start
taking responsibly for how you feel. It is important that you notice
your triggers. Take one step at a time. Although our ultimate goal is to
learn to act with integrity every minute of our life.
It may be that you just
want to take responsibility for your anger, for your weight, for your
addictions, for your emotions....
Wherever you decide to
start, remember it takes time to adapt to changes. Remember also, that
there are a great many people out there whom haven't been given the
choice to make changes. Changes are instead thrown at them by life,
circumstance, fate - and they have to find self-responsibility to adapt.
You have the choice, at
this time, either to take responsibility for yourself - or to sit back
and blame other people for how you feel, what you do and where you are.