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Throughout our life we experience many different kinds of rejection; some types hit us harder than others. But at some point most of us have to deal with it in some form or another.

When we are rejected, be that as who we are, or excluded because of what we can do, or that which we can't do. We have a sense of not being good enough.

Feelings that stem from rejection include:-

  • Inadequacy
  • Jealousy
  • Anger
  • Confusion
  • Disappointment

Rejection can take many forms:-

  • Loss of a job
  • Failure to get the job/promotion you applied for
  • Losing (& Winning) Competitions
  • Broken friendship/relationship
  • Being Socially Outcast

They make us feel

  • Lack of Self Worth
  • Lack of Self Respect
  • Lack of Satisfaction/comfort

When we experience rejection to the point that it hits us in a way; such that we find life difficult to deal/cope with. It is important that we seek help of some kind.

Focus on your good points

Remember all the good things that you've done and write a list of your good points (this one is most difficult).
When we are feeling low; it is far easier to believe that which people tell you - that you are NOT good enough.

Moving Forwards

If you have been rejected for a job or a promotion, do seek to ask why. It may have been that one vital skill was left out, or that the successful applicant had more experience. It is important not to give up; but to find out what is needed and decide whether or not you will be able to achieve those new targets for when the next position comes up.

Maybe part of you knew that you needed something more, and you had just set your hopes over ambitiously. If so, seek to gain what you need to gain.

If you have been rejected by a group of people, be that a club, a friend or a partner. Seek to understand what is upsetting you the most. Is it because now you feel restricted, or abandoned.

At the end of the day, we deserve to be around people who appreciate us for who we are. And if other people can not see our goodness, that is their loss.

We will never achieve, if we give up, nor if we allow ourselves to remain stuck. We have to keep moving forwards.

Making Changes

If the rejection has made you feel that parts of yourself need to be changed. I.e. more study, change of attitude. Be sure that you are taking the right route and that you are making the changes for the right reasons.

Make changes for yourself; and not to prove points to other people.

Seek professional advice, and asking a potential employee for an honest evaluation of what YOU need to achieve to do better 'next' time, doesn't take much but you will need to be open to criticism.

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If this issue is effecting your emotional well-being or your day to day life you may benefit from counselling and therapy.
Counselling should not be seen as a last resort, it is a fantastic way to talk through the things that are bothering you with someone impartial. Seeking counselling at the early stages can dramatically improve your emotional confidence.

For counselling and therapists in the United Kingdom,
please see our directory.


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