Integrity, combines sincerity, honesty, completeness,
wanting of nothing, needing not to sway outcomes (manipulation), virtue
and many other balanced qualities.
In life; we should all aspire to be interacting with
Integrity towards other people, and also to ourselves.
When we act with integrity, we have no need to
manipulate or control a situation. We have no fear for any outcome, thus
we need not try to sway things in our favour. When we act with integrity
we accept gracefully all that comes our way, and act on what comes our way
without losing that integrity.
It's not a state that can be easily permanently
achieved, as we all have things which we want/don't want, that we like or
dislike... it's very hard not to try to persuade those people we care for
not to/to do something.
Hold true to your highest sense of self. This is a
relaxed calm state.
Adopt neither a position or state of mind of
authority, nor that of underling.
Adopt a position and state of mind that is complete
and EQUAL to all things.
If we adopt the state of mind of an 'underling' we give
away some of our own sense of self worth. There are of course times when
we can learn from wiser or more learned people, yet we should do so from
an equal state.
Everyone has something to impart upon us. It is down to
us as individuals to recognise what you are being taught. So rather than
'look up' to someone, or put them on a pedestal, you could try to look
upon them with respect. Respect for them as an individual, does not mean
you have to put them on a pedestal, neither does it mean that you are
It means you respect that they are the sum of their own experiences, of
their choices, of the things they have learnt.
The things this person has chosen to learn in their
life, deserve no more respect, or no less respect than you hold within
yourself, for yourself. They are just different things, different choices.
We are all equal, made up of the same parts. Yet we all have choices and
experiences which shape who we are.
You can learn about your own sense of self respect,
about the things that fire passion and inspire you; from them. But you
need not put anyone on a pedestal, you are beneath no man (or woman).
And lastly, just because someone DOES have the
experience you lack, or the knowledge or the wealth, it does not mean that
'their' advice and knowledge is right for you. Use what resonates, and
discard what doesn't.
Occasionally, we think we know best. We then take the
stance of the 'Emperor'. We wish others were more like us, would do
something our way, or simply meet our needs.
Actually they DO meet our needs; just not the ones you
When we think we know best, we are not accepting others
as they truly are.
Just because YOU have the experience they lack, or
because you have the qualifications, and just because you are older or
clever or earn more money does not make you better than anyone else.
We are all made up from the same physical substances,
we all have basic similarities as human beings. You chose to learn what
you learnt, just because other people have made different choices does not
make them inferior.
We all have advice to give others. The trading of
information is what makes us grow. If you have advice to give; as I do
here; you need to pull yourself down to an equal level and see it as a
trading of information. Your information will be of benefit to some, and
useless to others... Not because it is incorrect, but simply because some
people have made different choices and are on different paths, or are not
at the same stage of development as you are. (Imagine teaching quantum
physics to a child who can only just recite the alphabet - it won't sink
Give your advice once. Never ever take it personally if
your advice isn't instantly acted upon. Remember, when people do not take
your advice, it is because they are not ready.
Only ever offer help ONCE. To persistently offer your
help and to have it turned down does not reflect on who you are (other
than you having an issue/need to help), It simply shows that the donor is
not ready to receive your help yet. Push and you will be pushed away.
You can bring yourself down to an equal level. We are
all on our own personal journeys, one school, yet we are not constricted
to classrooms, and school sets or groups, we interact as a whole because
we are all on different stages of our journeys.
I liken the act of integrity to be like that of wisdom and truth,
kindness and sincerity. I've explained this as the Princess or Buddha Stance,
as for different sexes to be able to relate to the 'state' of integrity.
To imagine that perfect fairytale princess; one who cares for all, with
no act of selfishness. To embody that within your person. Think Snow White
without the 'innocence', happy, loving, caring, unselfish.
To imagine Buddha; sat with all his wisdom and insight, offering words
of real truth and inspiration, with complete compassion for the
difficulties of life, yet Buddha's words have no need to sway you into
following either path.
To embody these qualities within you, will help you to bring yourself
to a point of integrity. It is only when we allow our own personal issues
or control dramas to kick in that we find integrity frantically pulled
from beneath our feet.