We never worry that things will go well. We
worry that things will go wrong.
We never worry about things being in
harmony, we worry about them being in dis-harmony.
separate from anxiety. Anxiety is a fear of what is to come. Worry is a fear
of present AND future.
We worry about ourselves, our situations,
There is a barrier between concern and
worry. Concern means you think, feel and act within the situation you are
facing. Whereas worry is more personal.
Worry is the expansion of concern to the
point where you can't relax and can't stop thinking about something.
The worst thing you can possibly do
is worry about what you could have done.
Physically: Worry causes stomach upsets and headaches.
Emotionally: Worry creates feelings of responsibility and burden.
How many times have you thought or been
told 'Let it go, stop worrying!'
It is indeed easier said than done. How
exactly, do we stop worrying?
Firstly, remove the "what
Look at everything as it is NOW.
If there is a problem,
how can YOU fix it.
Does it need someone else to fix it?
Make the decision to fix it, make the decision to
call up the person whom CAN help you.
That is, be sure you have done all you can
IF you have, then you simply need to trust that all is done, all is out
of your control and that which will be, will be.
Taking control of a situation removes a
high proportion of the need to worry.
When we worry, we don't always have the ability to
think clearly. Thoughts and feelings fly so quickly through us that it is
difficult to bring in any calm.
The only way to ease your worries is to take some
control over the situations which are causing you to worry.
Now, before you steam on in there; first be clear
are you worried about something which directly effects YOU, or are you
worried on behalf of someone else?
For situations which directly effect you. Be clear on the facts. Identify the cause of your worry.
Money: If you are worried about
money, work out exactly what you need vs what you've got. Be realistic. Be
in control. Whilst you may not see an immediate solution, it always helps to
have the real facts in hand. Help is available, changes may need to be
made. But without knowing exactly what you have vs what you need, you
won't be able to help yourself - nor will anyone else be able to help you.
Interviews: If you are worried about an
interview, work out exactly why you are worried. Are you afraid you'll be
late, make a fool of yourself, say something wrong? Just remind yourself
that you will do your best, and you'll do better if you worry less.
Exam Results: If you are worried about the
results of an exam, you must remind yourself that you have done your best.
And in the worst case scenario there may be a possibly you can re-sit if
you have done really badly.
Exams/Tests: If you are worried about what
you are about to be tested on; please remember that you will do better if
you are less anxious. Be informed, know exactly what you are being tested
on. If you don't feel ready (as in a driving test), try postponing it
until you DO feel ready.
See, Worry can be combated if you feel in control, you
wont feel in control by worrying. We worry about what we are unsure of,
afraid of. Remove the fear, find the facts and clear the worry!
Make decisions to remove the problem.
Fearing the worst
We worry because we fear outcomes. We fear not
being good enough, we fear not having enough and we fear the 'what if'
In the face of a difficult situation we worry over the fear aspect
attached to it.
To combat this, we have to ask ourselves "What would it mean to you if things went
bad" and "What could the worst possible outcome be." and "Why are you afraid of it?"
Decide NOT to be afraid of it.
We don't want things to turn out bad, but if we
can pull together an action plan for the 'worst', then it means we are
taking some control. It means that should the worst happen, we are
prepared. No one likes to even consider the worst, but if you pull a plan
out of the hat ready for the worst; at least you can work a way 'UP'
before you get 'DOWN'.
Being worried about other people
If you are worried about someone, be sure
that it's not you trying to control an outcome. That you are not projecting
your fears and concerns on to someone else. Understand WHY you are worried.
For example; you may worry about them being in a
difficult situation, you may worry about their health, their
relationships, their state of mind.
Worrying isn't helping you to be that supportive
influence. It is a good idea to discuss your concerns with the person
involved. Everyone does need to make their own mistakes, but we all need
to learn from the experiences of others too; and we all need to ultimately
make up our own minds.
Also; look at how either outcome would make you feel and why you are
worried at not getting the outcome which you want.
You have to allow other people to take
responsibility for themselves.
It is natural to worry about our family members and friends; but if THEY
are not worried, then we have no cause to truly doubt them.
If they ARE worried, then you are not helping the
situation by worrying with them. Instead you need to be the reliable
source there to celebrate if things go well and to come up with a plan if
things go wrong.