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Worry

We never worry that things will go well. We worry that things will go wrong.

We never worry about things being in harmony, we worry about them being in dis-harmony.

Worry is separate from anxiety. Anxiety is a fear of what is to come. Worry is a fear of present AND future.

We worry about ourselves, our situations, our families/friends.

There is a barrier between concern and worry. Concern means you think, feel and act within the situation you are facing. Whereas worry is more personal.
Worry is the expansion of concern to the point where you can't relax and can't stop thinking about something.


The worst thing you can possibly do
is worry about what you could have done.
~ Author Unknown ~


Worry manifests

Physically: Worry causes stomach upsets and headaches.

Emotionally: Worry creates feelings of responsibility and burden.

Stop worrying!

How many times have you thought or been told 'Let it go, stop worrying!'

It is indeed easier said than done. How exactly, do we stop worrying?

Firstly, remove the "what if'" aspects.
Look at everything as it is NOW.
If there is a problem, how can YOU fix it.
Does it need someone else to fix it?
Make the decision to fix it, make the decision to call up the person whom CAN help you.

That is, be sure you have done all you can do.
IF you have, then you simply need to trust that all is done, all is out of your control and that which will be, will be.

Take control

Taking control of a situation removes a high proportion of the need to worry.

When we worry, we don't always have the ability to think clearly. Thoughts and feelings fly so quickly through us that it is difficult to bring in any calm.

The only way to ease your worries is to take some control over the situations which are causing you to worry.

Now, before you steam on in there; first be clear are you worried about something which directly effects YOU, or are you worried on behalf of someone else?

Your Situations

For situations which directly effect you. Be clear on the facts. Identify the cause of your worry.

Money: If you are worried about money, work out exactly what you need vs what you've got. Be realistic. Be in control. Whilst you may not see an immediate solution, it always helps to have the real facts in hand. Help is available, changes may need to be made. But without knowing exactly what you have vs what you need, you won't be able to help yourself - nor will anyone else be able to help you.

Interviews: If you are worried about an interview, work out exactly why you are worried. Are you afraid you'll be late, make a fool of yourself, say something wrong? Just remind yourself that you will do your best, and you'll do better if you worry less.

Exam Results: If you are worried about the results of an exam, you must remind yourself that you have done your best. And in the worst case scenario there may be a possibly you can re-sit if you have done really badly.

Exams/Tests: If you are worried about what you are about to be tested on; please remember that you will do better if you are less anxious. Be informed, know exactly what you are being tested on. If you don't feel ready (as in a driving test), try postponing it until you DO feel ready.

See, Worry can be combated if you feel in control, you wont feel in control by worrying. We worry about what we are unsure of, afraid of. Remove the fear, find the facts and clear the worry!

Make decisions to remove the problem.



Fearing the worst

We worry because we fear outcomes. We fear not being good enough, we fear not having enough and we fear the 'what if' aspect.
In the face of a difficult situation we worry over the fear aspect attached to it.

To combat this, we have to ask ourselves "What would it mean to you if things went bad" and "What could the worst possible outcome be." and "Why are you afraid of it?"

Decide NOT to be afraid of it.

We don't want things to turn out bad, but if we can pull together an action plan for the 'worst', then it means we are taking some control. It means that should the worst happen, we are prepared. No one likes to even consider the worst, but if you pull a plan out of the hat ready for the worst; at least you can work a way 'UP' before you get 'DOWN'.

Being worried about other people

If you are worried about someone, be sure that it's not you trying to control an outcome. That you are not projecting your fears and concerns on to someone else. Understand WHY you are worried.

For example; you may worry about them being in a difficult situation, you may worry about their health, their relationships, their state of mind.

Worrying isn't helping you to be that supportive influence. It is a good idea to discuss your concerns with the person involved. Everyone does need to make their own mistakes, but we all need to learn from the experiences of others too; and we all need to ultimately make up our own minds.

Also; look at how either outcome would make you feel and why you are worried at not getting the outcome which you want.

You have to allow other people to take responsibility for themselves.
It is natural to worry about our family members and friends; but if THEY are not worried, then we have no cause to truly doubt them.

If they ARE worried, then you are not helping the situation by worrying with them. Instead you need to be the reliable source there to celebrate if things go well and to come up with a plan if things go wrong.

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