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Patience is a virtue, apparently.

Lack of patience makes us irritable, anxious, angry and difficult to be around.

Lacking in patience makes us short tempered, liable to sudden outbursts of frustration and in some cases, bouts of ignorance.

In part, the process of patience is about acceptance. However; patience is the ability not need things to move faster than they currently are.
This could be in a queue, traffic jam, waiting for a letter, news, information, teaching someone, helping someone or even something about ourselves.

We often hear people say 'Oh I don't have the patience to do that' And I always have to wonder why they say that. The truth is, it's not about patience, it's simply they do not WANT to do that. Lack of patience is a good excuse not to do something.

Patience in situations...

Late train/ queues /traffic etc.. We've all been there, feeling a tad frustrated because we have to wait longer than we thought, these hold ups are going to make us late for this or that and its going to mean making a few phone calls, re-organising the day and blah blah... c'mon does it truly matter... is it really worth raising your heart-rate for?

If your train is late.. well stop a minute...  If you think you've got problems re-organising your day; think of the rest of the folk around you - they are all in the same boat, and someone somewhere is having to run around and re-schedule platforms... it's chaos.. why add to it with a frustrated attitude.

These things happen, it's part of life. If everything ran on time, if everything occurred without waits or delays then we'd never get a moment to ourselves.

Patience with other people

If someone is failing to grasp a concept which you are trying to explain. It's not actually THEIR fault. It's in the way you are explaining it.

When we teach children, we have more patience because we know they have little hands and expanding minds and that we need to use small words, show them by example, nice and slowly until they have grasped what to do.

We expect adults to know it all and we expect people to have the same level of knowledge and experience as we do - but they don't. That doesn't mean they are stupid or incompetent. It simply means that haven't learnt that skill in their life yet. Think back to the last time you had trouble learning something or had trouble grasping a concept... eventually you have that Eureka moment, and it all clicks into place.

So if you find yourself loosing patience with someone. Change the way you are talking to them. Explain to them clearly without being condescending or rude. Keep your voice in low calm tones and if all else fails ask them. Ask them which bit they fall over on. And break it down into smaller pieces.

Sometimes we try to point things out to people, but they simply can't grasp it. So we need to talk in terms they can relate to; and we need to stop looking at the big issue and break it down into smaller issues.

For example, you can not do complex equations if you do not understand basic mathematics. When someone is struggling, you need to go back to the beginning and help them to see things. Jumping in with big words and huge explanations will just swamp them and they will loose interest/switch off or just get angry or frustrated at you.

Losing patience with yourself.

We loose patience with ourselves because we get angry and frustrated that we can't do something, that things are taking too long; or simply that what we've done isn't good enough.

Ok. You tried your best right? If you didn't, then know what you can try next time. If you need to learn more, then learn more. If you are feeling under pressure; you need to step back and give yourself 5 or 10 minutes relaxation time, take a deep breath, re-focus and get back to the task in hand. If you still find you are loosing patience, go off for half an hour, remove the pressure off yourself. Know you will do it, and you will do it well.

Putting pressure on ourselves makes us impatience. Perfectionism makes us impatient. Whose rules? Yours. Just do your best in a calm manner and if your best isn't good enough, try again.

A final note

As with all things concerning ourselves. Our commitment to ourselves works alongside our recognition of those things which throw us out of balance.

When you understand WHY you have a lack of patience, you can start to find ways to work on it. But it is YOUR responsibility to work on it. No one else's.

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Scents for promoting patience include:- Chamomile and lavender




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