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Expectations

Expectations have a set outcome, and somewhere in your mind, a set time and place.

When we don't get what we 'expect' we tend to feel disappointment, anger, resentment etc.

With expectations, obstacles cause some form of distress (even as mild as annoyance).

If you can turn your expectations into aspirations, you'll find a more relaxing approach.

Instead of expecting someone to arrive on time, aspire they will arrive on time. This means, knowing it doesn't matter if they are early or late.

Instead of expecting someone to do something for you, aspire to it. Know, that if they can't it doesn't matter to you, yet if they do you will be grateful.

Ok, so it may sound good in theory.

Dropping expectations is hard.

But if things don't go as you expect - don't be so hard on yourself. Try to be a little more accepting.

Expectations generally involve input from other people. Aspirations are personal.

The first step...

The first step in conquering your expectations is to be more aware of the things which you are expecting.

Just how many things in your average day have caused you annoyance, bitterness, resentments.

We expect the train to arrive on time (or at least within 5 minutes of its arrival time!), we expect our co-workers to do their jobs properly, we expect the restaurant to get our order correct. And maybe, quite rightly so - as all of these are services which are being paid for.

However, If things do go wrong - how do you react? calmly or with anger?

We expect our friends and family to behave in a certain way. Yet at times we are still disappointed when they don't meet our expectations. We then get angry at THEM because our expectations haven't been met..

Watch yourself, look back on your day. Be aware of the things which you are expecting.



Trust...

We can conquer expectations by reacting with trust.

Everything occurs as is meant.

We can adopt the 'yes that would be great' attitude, combined with 'but if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world'.

Understand that there is always some reason why your expectation has been dashed, and that reason IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

Try not to take things so personally.

Dropping the expectations

If you can, you should try to avoid expecting something in the first place.

This isn't always possible as most of the time its almost a sub-conscious thing. So, when you realise your expectations have been dashed, or realise that you DO have an expectation work through WHY you are feeling the way you are feeling.

Why you expect/expected it.

And then look to why you are letting it affect you in the way that it is.

If you can do this, hopefully you'll find that sense of balance again.

Having Aspirations

There is a distinct difference between aspirations and expectations.

Aspirations are things that you would like to achieve, and no matter the obstacle you don't feel put down, lack of money just makes you save a little more, lack of time makes you re-schedule the time.

Aspirations and dreams are almost pie in the sky, but you also know that somehow, someway they can be achieved. And if you also know, that if you can't achieve them, that you'll still be happy.

Expectations have a set outcome, and somewhere in your mind, a set time and place. When we don't get what we 'expect' we tend to feel disappointment, anger, resentment etc.

With aspirations you can 'gloss over' the obstacles.
With expectations, obstacles cause some form of distress (even as mild as annoyance).

If you can turn your expectations into aspirations, you'll find a more relaxing approach. Instead of expecting someone to arrive on time, aspire they will arrive on time. This means, knowing it doesn't matter if they are early or late.
Instead of expecting someone to do something for you, aspire to it. Know, that if they can't it doesn't matter to you, yet if they do you will be grateful.


Dropping expectations is hard.

But if things don't go as you expect - don't be so hard on yourself. Try to be a little more accepting.

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