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If you're angry, you have to look at the reasons why you feel the anger in an attempt to understand all the causes of that anger.

Understand its YOU who is creating the anger, not someone else.

Their actions may make you feel angry, they may make you feel an injustice... but... YOU FEEL IT... You are allowing yourself to feel angry....

We get angry because things don't work out the way we want them to. This can be seen as a control issue.

We get angry because we are trying to concentrate and keep getting interrupted.
This is also a control issue.

We get angry for lots of reasons, but it's always OUR reaction to what is presented to us.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.


WHY you are angry.

The sad thing is that you are REALLY angry at yourself. Not at the person you are directing the anger 'at', it's just easier to be angry at someone else.

  • You are angry at them, because YOU can't work
  • You are angry at them, because YOU failed
  • You are angry at them, because they didn't do what YOU wanted.
  • You are angry at them, because YOU didn't get the chance, opportunity
  • You are angry at them, because YOU feel passionately towards something/a cause
  • You are angry at them, because YOU feel you are not being heard/seen.

For most cases, anger rises up when we have a sense of losing control, or when we feel an injustice. But the anger is coming from you like a fire or furnace.

If you feel someone else is causing your anger, write a letter (with no intention of sending it). State exactly what you are feeling angry about. Every detail. Then read back over each detail and ask yourself WHY each individual detail makes you angry.

  • Is it because YOU expected different?
  • Is it because YOU feel disappointed in them?
  • Is it because YOU feel an injustice?

Notice... it's about still about YOU.

  • If you expected different - ask yourself WHY and what you expected to happen...
  • If you feel disappointed in someone - ask yourself WHY you thought there would be a different outcome
  • If you feel an injustice - ask yourself WHY you want things to be different.
  • You may be feeling embarrassed
  • You may be feeling ashamed
  • You may be feeling guilty

There's NO getting away from it. The ANGER is your creation. You are feeling disappointment from your expectations, injustice from your sense of justice...

Understand why you feel these things. Write it all down. Write down exactly why you are angry and then write down HOW you think you may resolve the anger. (And not by revenge!!)

You don't need to feel that everyone is out to mess up your life. You need to feel as though YOU can regain control of YOURSELF.

  • Can you resolve it by accepting the other person did what they believed to be right?
  • Can you resolve it by accepting that the other person really didn't know any better?
  • Can you resolve it by discussion, by simply explaining to the other person why you expected different/feel disappointed in them?
  • Can you remove the embarrassment? the shame? the guilt? By accepting who you are?

Taking your anger out on other people

If you are getting angry at other people for secondary reasons, i.e because you are stressed, because you are being interrupted, because you don't want to wait, because you feel guilty, because you are self absorbed...then you need to re-focus your attention.

As soon as you realise that you are 'taking out' your anger on someone innocent, you could try taking a deep breath.

Stop what you are doing and apologise.

It doesn't matter if you are under deadline, it doesn't matter if you've lost concentration, Apologise.

Take a deep breath, apologise and explain to the persons WHY you are tetchy/angry/shouting.

People will walk away and leave you be with compassion if they understand how you are feeling. If you simply shout at them, they will walk away thinking 'What I do? Why they grumpy? Why they shouting?' They walk away feeling negative.

They will walk away feeling angry at you...

Why project your anger onto someone else?

Why project your anger onto someone else? Especially an innocent family member or work colleague... You will actually feel better by taking time out to VOICE your anger with calm words.

By shouting 'GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE' you are not voicing your anger. you are PROJECTING your anger and allowing other people to pick it up and get angry too...

By taking a deep breath, downing tools for a minute and saying 'I'm sorry for shouting, I'm really worried about work and I cant seem to concentrate, I didn't mean to snap' You are explaining your actions, voicing out your concerns and will be more able to find a viable solution, and maybe even a helping hand.

Remove anger by knowing that everything will work out for the best one way or another.

Remove Anger by accepting situations.

Shouting at someone will NOT improve how YOU are feeling. It will NOT automatically trigger the response YOU want from them (of course it 'may', but you can't guarantee it). And if you do NOT get the response you wanted, shouting and getting angry AT someone, will actually make you feel worse.

Being Angry with yourself

If you are then angry at yourself, you can not punish yourself.

You must try to accept and understand who you are and why you react in the way that you do, and decide to take better responsibility for yourself in the future.

Professional Therapy

When your own anger is effecting your emotional well-being, you may benefit from counselling and therapy.

Counselling can also assist if you are being subject to anger.

Counselling should not be seen as a last resort. Seeking counselling at the early stages can dramatically improve your emotional wellbeing.

For more information on counselling or psychotherapy, please click the links below.

Relaxation therapies may help bring you into a more peaceful state of mind. Suggested therapies include;

For further details on the therapies listed above, just click on them!

Here at Inner Truth we have a directory of UK Practitioners, listed by region and category. Please use the links below to find a practitioner near you.


Holistic Therapy for Anger

When anger affects your life, you may find the following activities worthwhile. They can help to calm your mind.

Classes are carried out in most locations, to find classes and centres that can teach you meditation, pilates, tai chi and yoga, please click here.

Alternatively you can purchase books, cds and dvds that can help to teach you the basics. Please note that you will get most benefit from a professional, as they will be able to correct your mistakes and won't push you further than you can manage.

 Spiritual methods for removing aggression


The following crystals may help to assist.

  • Garnet
  • Obsidian
  • Rose Quartz
  • Red Jasper
  • Pink Carnelian


Please do not use aromatherapy oils or scents whilst pregnant, unless being treated by a qualified practitioner.

The following scents may assist.

  • Chamomile
  • Cypress
  • Patchouli
  • Ylang Ylang
  • Vanilla
  • Jasmine
  • Rose
  • Rosemary


The base chakra would be the logical place to start. The base chakra covers anger and aggression at your very core.

The heart chakra also covers anger, especially when it is not linked with aggressive behaviour, but instead linked with aggressive thoughts.

Other Methods

Other spiritual methods which may aid your understanding of your own self may include;

  • Aura Reading
  • Chakra Clearing
  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Clairvoyance.

Please use the links below to find UK practitioners.


 Further reading


Do as you feel is right, and if it feels wrong don't do it!.
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