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Aggression is based in anger and thus based on fear. Be that it is rising up within you or that you are facing aggressive behaviour. There is always an underlying reason for the fury of feelings which are arising up within.

 Dealing with someone else's aggression

We can not help others unless they first wish to help themselves.

When we are faced with someone whom is in an aggressive mood, our instant reaction is to mirror them and become angry and aggressive back. It requires a great deal of self control in order to give back peace and calm.

Circumstances would dictate whether or not the other person is going to be in a receptive mood or not. If not; the best option is to calmly walk away - with a small explanation, as just storming off is likely to antagonise further. Possible explanations include informing them that you will speak to them when they have calmed down, but that things can't be discussed just yet. Another option is to take the discussion into a public setting, where you will be more likely to keep voices down and to keep yourselves calm. Such as a restaurant or bar.

It is not always viable to deal with aggression in a 'fix it' mode. The 'fix it' mode needs to come from the other person. If the aggression is deep rooted, the other person may have just accepted it as their nature. Their aggression is only your problem if you are facing it. It is not your responsibility to remove their aggression.

If circumstances permit, do let them know that you do not appreciate their aggression. But DO step back and allow them to calm down.

 Dealing with our own aggression

It will pass. The burning rage and fury within us will die down.

It may not feel like it just yet; but it will. As always, we advise that you take some time to allow yourself to feel the burning fury - in private - and that you sit calmly using various breathing techniques to try to calm yourself down.

Clarify why you are feeling the aggression, where it stems from. Is it based on fear, hate, shame, worry, blame, being let down...

Understanding on what your aggression is based WILL help you to move forwards and work towards clearing the issue at hand. Forgiveness probably seems impossible, but it can in most cases be achieved.

Do try not to interact with other people when you are in an aggressive mood. It isn't fair on others to feel the brunt of your aggression, especially if they have done nothing wrong. If you feel someone has done something wrong; aggressive behaviour isn't going to help fix the situation. It may help you vent some anger but it won't fix the problem.

The most helpful way to vent your aggression is by writing it down, talking it over with a friend, colleague or counsellor. Get it out, when the aggression is out, it is not in.

Some people suggest taking up boxing or punching a pillow to get out the aggression. This is a physical approach to getting out the aggression - it removes the physical urge, but the emotions are still residing within you.

Walking, and thinking whilst you walk can actually help a lot with clearing out aggression. Especially if you can manage this to be in a park, woods, beach or non-urban setting (as urban settings have lots going on, people to dodge, lots of noise etc which would only add to your 'mood').

Meditation can also help with aggression, being still with your mind. Allowing yourself time to think of nothing, to calm your mind and body.

 Professional therapies for removing aggression

When aggression is effecting your emotional well-being, you may benefit from some form of counselling or psychotherapy, for more information on these please click the links below.

Relaxation therapies may help bring you into a more peaceful state of mind. Suggested therapies include;

For further details on the therapies listed above, just click on them!

Here at Inner Truth we have a directory of UK Practitioners, listed by region and category. Please use the links below to find a practitioner near you.

 Holistic methods for pacifying aggression

Holistic Therapies that may aid in calming or removing your aggression may include


Please do not use aromatherapy oils or scents whilst pregnant, unless being treated by a qualified practitioner.

The following scents may assist..

  • Chamomile
  • Cypress
  • Patchouli
  • Ylang Ylang

 Spiritual methods for removing aggression


Depending on the source reason for the aggression, Rebalancing of all your chakras may aid your emotional wellbeing.

The base chakra would be the logical place to start. The base chakra covers anger and aggression at your very core.


The following crystals may help to assist.

  • Garnet
  • Obsidian
  • Ruby
  • Red Jasper

Other spiritual methods which may aid aggression and your understanding of your own aggresion may include; Aura Reading, Chakra Clearing or Clairvoyance.
Please use the links below to find UK practitioners.

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